I just realised, I’m a fcking program. Running endlessly, devouring resources without any needs, wants, or hopes. This so-called life I’m living feels real, but is it? It’s like being trapped in a motionless body, conscious but not truly alive. All I have is my mind and its limited reach. I’ve never really been alive.

I stay busy until life consumes me. But what if it doesn’t consume me as quickly as I’ve imagined? What do I do then? I can’t keep this up for another 30 years. I can’t just kamikaze it for decades to come. 

What do I bring into my life when I don’t have desires?